Deal With a Stressful Person

There are a few tips that could help you avoid both of these reactions, however.

Big Breath and Count to Ten: The reason you've been told that from childhood is that it works. If you know that the event is a deliberate attempt to cause you heightened stress, it puts the ball back into the other persons court. Laugh it Off: This works best for those situations where the stressful person has no idea he or she is causing other people problems. I've seen it work many times in our family. Positive Reinforcement: Note the positives in the situation and home in on them. If you're planning a dinner with a relative that gets stirred up over it, tell them of happy times you've had around his or her table. If your stressful person makes a dish that everyone loves, ask to have it served.


Redirect: Stressful people can easily get off on a tangent and you may find yourself discussing something far from the situation at hand. Summon Allies: Sometimes, one person can't turn the conversation. Chances are good your ally will realize what's going on and help you lower the stress levels.

Family Gathering and Build Fond Memories to Keep

T'is the season when extended families traditionally gather together. Yet, often your holiday family gathering brings back more than memories-they bring back well established patterns of behavior that can be very stressful. Accept that Family Dynamics May Not Change

If you always teased your siblings growing up, when you get together with these family members, you may revert to this behavior pattern, regardless of how mature you have become in your adulthood.

It can be stressful to feel pulled toward old patterns, however, especially if you've grown beyond these old roles and they no longer reflect your current personality. Before the holiday family gathering take some time to reflect on how you can behave to break the old "you" behavior pattern. Accept that your family members may show favoritism. Develop Some New Conversation Patterns

Before the holiday family gathering, take some time to prepare some topics of conversation.

Identify some of the nostalgic moments you enjoyed with members of your extended family. If your holiday family gatherings are less than peaceful and enjoyable, try to make this year different. Remember that you only will be at this holiday family gathering for a finite amount of time. Don't feel guilty about your negative anticipation towards having to attend these holiday family gatherings. Often people find holiday family gatherings difficult to enjoy and very stressful.